what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
