Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
