I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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