forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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