Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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