Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
