We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
