My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
