Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
