yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
