hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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