Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't turn off my feet"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
