$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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