Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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