I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
