I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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