Have you finally orgasmed yet?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
