For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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