I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
