I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
