We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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