is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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