you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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