I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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