dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
