I'm gonna have a badass scar
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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