I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wish you could order shots online.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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