You're my little dorito
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
