Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
