Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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