i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
