that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
