I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
