I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
