He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
