so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
