Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
