I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
