so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she smelled like a LAN party
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
