Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
