Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
