you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
foreskin is a definite game changer
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
