you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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