is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
