so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
