Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
