She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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