I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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