On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
