i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
