I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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