Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
