the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
