$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
