if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
